I Don't Deserve Happiness

So I bury my face in the crevice between your chest and your pillow as I desperately attempt to conceal the tears that fall from my eyes.

You ask me why I'm crying and I shake my head 'no' as I wipe my eyes, smearing my mascara more in the process.

So I get mad at you, I yell and cry even more and you ask why I'm mad and I shake my head at you.

Because I don't deserve this, I don't deserve happiness.

[Originally Written Thursday, October 20, 2016]